Welcome to a special Saturday edition of the Friday Football Freakshow! If Monday Night Football can be on a Saturday, I can share NFL hot takes on a Saturday.
Matthew Berry’s weekly Love/Hate article is the proverbial light bulb to which crazy moths regularly fly too close. I enjoyed the surprise reveal in this otherwise normal sports debate:
While I am not a veteran who has been in a wheelchair for 40 years, I have stolen valor from 4 of the 5 branches of armed forces. Still, I cannot see the logical leap from “disabled vet” to “superior opinion on the zeitgeist of fantasy sports.” I like to imagine this guy plays the vet card apropos of nothing in many life situations, “Dammit, Mary, I served two tours and I’ll be damned if Rachel was right to dump Ross. I’ve been a disabled vet for 40 years, and one thing I know is that they were on a break!”
On the subject of “logical leaps that are beyond my comprehension” is this commenter from an ESPN article about Cleveland Browns’ player getting an unwelcome wake-up call at a London hotel. For extra fun, note what country the poster is from.
Uh, yeah, since 1776 we’ve been showing the British that you don’t have to blindly worship authority. The players are not citizens of Britain, so when the hosts play their anthem, they stand. To do anything else during “God Save the Queen” would be to rudely throw shade at a nation that they are not even a part of. You know, like you just did, Jack.
While Canadian Jack, there, simply hinted at his disgust, some posters of NFL hot takes like to take the “immediately jump to triple dog dare,” route like this person from the comments section of an NFL.com article about Christian McCaffrey:
This is especially tragic because, before Peter took this into Youtube comments territory, Dion was making a good point: For guys that do great in open space, it’s weird that Cam doesn’t get excused but CMC does.
Speaking of Youtube comments, hundreds of viewers commented on this cute video of that cat who sprinted down the sidelines during the Thursday Night Football game. Almost all the comments were about the adorableness of the situation or about Miami’s offensive woes. Except for this person, known simply by the pancake restaurant franchise IHOP, who managed to pan this gold for poop enough to find a small nugget:
That emoji, for which the NFL apparently deserves to kill itself?
Uhhh, fake-IHOP commenter is not going to like this Tweet from the real IHOP’s account, a Tweet that took all of my willpower not to share with fake IHOP:
Finally, a bit of a divergence from our usual NFL hot takes. I want to share what is easily the most obvious fantasy football question I have seen, this season://2017/10/26/you-be-the-commish-is-this-the-worst-fantasy-football-rule-ever/
From Yahoo Sports. First of all, why does this poster have three good defenses? That’s just begging for a headache. But mainly, start the amazing defense that’s going against the winless Browns after a long trip. Not the defenses going against the red hot Raiders nor the offensively consistent Seahawks. There, I’ve done my good deed for the week. Time to kill my pain.
For more enlightening nonsense, check out these links:
You be the Commish: Is This the Worst Fantasy Football Rule, Ever?
Football FAABsurdity’s FAABsolutely FAABulous Orphan Charity Drive
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